Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I can text with my tongue
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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