Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I need water and some morals
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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