You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
