textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
