No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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