he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
