I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize