Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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