3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
