New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
