went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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