it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize