I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we're making bets on your personal life
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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