booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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