Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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