Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
