she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize