I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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