Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
