I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
