i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
