As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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