You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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