I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
