she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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