Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
