doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i drank out of a bidet.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
