I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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