sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i think my cat just said my name.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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