so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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