boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
