piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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