you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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