Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
