i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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