we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
