Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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