I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
