you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
