you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
