I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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