I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
