I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
