Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
