ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
