Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
