im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
