no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
