saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
