Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
