All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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