So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
