I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you would pick up someone in the library
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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