I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
