your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
